> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Friends
> User Info
> amuser's gallows
> previous 20 entries

September 23rd, 2008

(Leave a comment)

(Leave a comment)

August 25th, 2008

(Leave a comment)

July 6th, 2008

(Leave a comment)

January 29th, 2007

12:15 am - why? watching me. waiting for the right moment. avoiding eye contact. he finally does it. takes that leap into manhood. "why don't you smile? don't you enjoy life?" "no, i'm happy," i respond as i continue working in my dead-end job. as below. Current Mood: busy

(Leave a comment)

January 13th, 2007

10:07 am - can't sleep, clowns will eat me. argh. i have had the inability to sleep for about a week now. everything goes so slowly when you stay up all night, tossing and turning. i like a vivacious life. therefore i am not enjoying myself. i thought maybe it was due to my reading whilst tired. not even the great jay gatsby can bore me to sleep (maybe it's because the book isn't boring...).i even think whilst i'm reading. that's all i've been doing. thinking. "wouldn't it be great if..." "what would happen if..." "i can't wait til...", imagining and creating absurd and unrealistic scenarios in my humble little mind. all i want is a decent night's sleep. please. i don't look particularly well either. there's too much self-pity for this little girl to handle. i don't enjoy ostensible smiles, therefore i seldom partake in performing with one. maybe when i get a good night's sleep i'll consider it. fuck valerian. fuck warm milk. fuck booze. fuck all your home remedies. i just want someone to knock me out cold with a frying pan. please? Current Mood: tired

(Leave a comment)

December 16th, 2006

(Leave a comment)

November 20th, 2005

(Leave a comment)

October 10th, 2005

09:13 pm - i think i'm in the wrong line of profession "i'm going to kill myself" "why?!" "everyone hates me" "like who?" "everyone" "it's true, everyone hates us" "i'm sure they don't" "they do" "why do you think that?" "because they do" "don't be silly" "i've going to shoot my head off. i want to die. i want to get hit by a car and die. kill me." thanks 9 year old. :( goodbye childhood innocence. Current Mood: sad Current Music: mars volta - miranda

(Leave a comment)

October 2nd, 2005

10:59 pm - something i wrote So, it's time for that repetitive family holiday and you're out of interesting places to go to? Or you just wanna take your missus out for a week full of good music and great sex? May I suggest... Melbourne. Yes, Melbourne. The garden state. Sure, it may look boring on a map, but underneath it all, in the depths of particularly the central suburbs, there's a fucking shit load of things to do. Well, I actually disagree with this statement at the moment, but hopefully after I've finished I too will agree that Melbourne is indeed, the place to be. Or similar. Well, first I must illustrate Melbourne's all-important pub culture. I'm not a club girl myself, so those of you who are may curl up and die. At a mere age of 18, I'm not all that familiar with the fantastic pubs of Melbourne, although most in which I have been to I have thoroughly enyoyed. I guess choosing a pub to go to during your stay in Melbourne really depends on your interests. For instance, if your looking for a cheap drink or too (Toohey's pots, even), I suggest you head on down to the Laundry in Johnston Street, Fitzroy, on a Thursday night. Unfortunately there's a $5 entry fee which probably covers the cost of the cheap beers, but there is usually a band playing which you can cheer on (such as First Time Hookers) or uncontrollably "boo" to (The Almaboobies). On such nights if there is no band playing, there is a fine selection of multi-genred music, ranging from classic rock and modern rock, to "rhythm and blues" and Hip-Hop. Well, usually they play your typical shithouse popular songs, but on the ocassion you'll hear some good shit. But yeah, cheap beer, what more could you ask for? Current Mood: bored

(Leave a comment)

June 25th, 2005

10:33 pm - omg omg omg i think i found something! Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: moorish dance

(Leave a comment)

08:07 pm - what the fuck am i good at? for a long time now i've been trying to work out what i'm good at. i'd like it to be something creative, and something in which many people will respect me for doing. so far, nothing. i'm good at negative things, such as annoying people, but that is not at all purposeful. if someone could help me become good at somehting such as being friendly, performing, acting, singing, playing an instrument, writing poetry, ANYTHING... i would greatly appreciate it. until then i shall mope, until at least a few people find it in their hearts to respect me. and no, this is not fucking facetious. Current Mood: sad Current Music: oz hip hop posse - blood, sweat and beers

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

May 17th, 2005

10:22 pm - ashamed and humiliated... "nobody can bring me down now motherfuckers." i spoke too soon. fuck you sickness. current view on society (this week): fuck the world. maybe i can get a tattoo of ftw and look like i've been in juvie. wooh. also; fuck the pain away. too many profanities for such a small frame. nice crotch. on the brighter side: finished all my assignments for the semester. next week no school. two weeks pp. then four weeks off. promised to annoy the bf continuously... lucky thing. oh, and i'm driving now, if anybody cared. ps. i hate you christine you fat fucking bitch. get with the times. my life ended yesterday. at least that's what i think. i hope not. lesson on dreamcatchers tomorrow... not that they have anything at all to do with aborigines. interestion. Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: calexico - quattro (world drifts in)

(Leave a comment)

May 12th, 2005

09:46 pm - good times last night's dream: santa sluts ripped the qotsa sticker off my car. they tore it in half. revenge was sought. i was fucking angry. apart from the fact that i have 5 assignments due next week that i haven't started, i'm fanfuckingtastic. god bless what happened on wednesday. nobody can bring me down now motherfuckers. i think. i finally met janis joplin yesterday. and she's a fucking psycho. Current Mood: stressed Current Music: hth - left foot right foot

(Leave a comment)

April 1st, 2005

10:29 pm regardless of the fact that it's a love song, i want unchained melody played at my funeral. Current Mood: hungry Current Music: guess

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

February 7th, 2005

01:25 pm - i'm baaack due to popular demand, i have decided to resurrect my journaly poos. and delete all the crappy entries :D so jo ann, brodie... whoever else reads this... i hope you're happy. i am, because i'm bored and the tv is broken. writing about stoopid things is fun. nana mouskouri is coming in september... and playing on the 9th! stupid bitch. who plays on my brother's 21st birthday? obviously someone with a stoopid name like nana! i was at a party the other day and some dude came up to the group i was sitting with and said goodbye. being the fairly drunken dickhead that i tend to be, i yelled at him "you look like the guy from 'hey dad'! nudge! you look like nudge!" and he replied.. "oh hi nicole!" and i said "who are you..?" "harvey, from primary school" haha i haven't seen this guy for six years and his first impression of me as a teenager is a drunk bitch. whoops. funny thing is, i've always thought he looked like nudge and being in grade 6, i never had the nerve to tell him. god bless booze. some new scary guy in fame story sang 'soldier of fortune'. he better not have massacred it. or he dies. i watch tonight. i googled 'nixie's house' due to boredness last night and found some guy's journal. this shit is gold: Wednesday, 3 December 2003 WOAH WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I BLOGGED? LOL not alot to blog bout today yall...well Nixie moved in with me...im so happy! i love having her around all the time! man im so sick *sneezes*...Nixie is makin me feel alot better though...but she really needs some rest shes getting really tired lately lol she always almost falls asleep...but then i jump on her kee hee hee lol well das it for now yo! l8er! xoxoxoxoxoxox Luv, Matt Luvs Ya Nixie! xoxoxoxoxoxox Thursday, 18 December 2003 HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! hey guys...i got some GREAT news! even though almost everyone knows...Nixie is pregnant! im gonna be a Daddy! im so excited! Nixie said i'll be a great Dad...i think she'll be the Perfect mommy! hee hee im so happy! *pokes Nixie's tummy* kee hee...shes trying to ban me from touching her tummy well just wanted to let ya know! l8er! xoxoxoxoxox Matt Luvs Ya Nixie AND Baby! :D Friday, 9 January 2004 *sighs...* yeah....me and Nixie broke up...she loves Benji...she said shes liked him for a while...i might be staying with Tony and Sare...i might move up to Tony and i's cabin...no body would care ne way...i think i got a lil thing forsomeone else 2...but its not alot i still love Nixie with all my heart with her or not...forever and awlways...please dont ask me who i kinda like, ok...i dont wanna get into that right now im not sure if i even like her or not but i think i kinda do..neways i dont feel like talking so l8er.. xoxoxoxox Matt ...I Still Love Ya Nix....Always they're making a bettie page movie. here's what she looks like now: wedged between anna-nicole and pammy. interesting. nice to see she hasn't let her fringe go. she was once so hot. example: something old i resurrected in which i shall rewrite... because i can: What's on your bedside table? lamp, digital clock, remote controls, diary, pen, mobile, tissue box, my knitting, 'girl, interrupted' by susanna kaysen What's the geekiest part of your music collection? abba gold, or the grease soundtrack. fucking awesome shit... What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night? bega stringers, if we have any. otherwise, tarax raspberry soft drink... again, if we have any. or strawberries. mega sized ones. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film? the pianist... *sigh* If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done? hmm... rhinocerosplasty Do you have a completely irrational fear? growing up.. ch-ch-ch-changes What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments? "no, i'm fine.." *runs off crying* that, or watery eyes or talking in a voice that sounds like i'm about to cry... taking quick breaths... Do you ever have to beg? only for sex, and that's on the best of days Do you have too many love interests? yes, i'm torn between muffin and tessa so i decided i'd spread the love equally. how fair of me. Do you know anyone famous? zoi! she got a record deal in greece yay! Describe your bed. single, ugly bedhead from when i was little, pinky red doona cover with hearts on it, white bedsheets with stars on them... yes i am a girl Spontaneous or plan? plan... i'm a planner... love to plan. Who should play you in a movie about your life? nicole kidman... only because she shares my name and an old man who i serve at work seems to think i am nicole kidman. it makes sense. the bright blue eyes, the long, blonde curly hair. i dont know who will play me as a teen... maybe scarlett johanssen... or thora birch... or allison hannigan... or claire danes... because they all apparently look like me... oh yes, i see the resemblance between me and ms johanssen... because my lips are really big too. pfft. at least no one calls me willow any more. Do you know how to play poker? yeah, i used to. i have forgotton. on my first game, io beat my brother and dad. i was 10. strip poker? i used to play the computer version... alone ;) What do you carry with you at all times? lip balm and tissues. How do you drive? like a maniac. well, i am female, and i don't know my left from my right. What do you miss most about being little? freedom... happiness. Are you happy with your given name? yeah, i don't mind it. i would prefer something obscure so everyone could mispronounce it and mispell it. but i suppose i have my surname for that. people sometimes spell it 'nicHole'. hmm. What color is your bedroom? bed is reddish... carpet and cupboards are pinky-peachy... walls are off white.. trimming is brown. pretty bland really. What was the last song you were listening to? i'm listening to aenema by tool right now... VALHALLA I AM COMING Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: calexico - bloodflow

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

December 11th, 2004

04:03 pm - there ain't gonna be any middle any more. i don't know iof i've already said this. i would check but i can't be arsed. in 'who's afraid of virginia woolf?' there's a really spunky young guy in it. him = bottom left: his name, george segal, sounded somewhat familiar. no, not the action dude, that's stephen segal. and i listened to his voice... and i thought "he kinda sounds like that old dude from 'just shoot me!'" and alas, it is. eww. oh well, it happens. i'm getting $750 today, w00t. Current Mood: hot Current Music: pearl jam - porch

(Leave a comment)

December 9th, 2004

04:34 pm - y tu mamá también one more movie. today i learnt for the second time that dry ice really does burn. Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: ac/dc - back in black

(Leave a comment)

November 25th, 2004

01:53 pm - smoke crawls low along the ceiling... and all is quiet. but i keep listening. yumsy pops, i just had a lime split, man i hope it keeps the horrible cigar taste outt my mouth, ergh. cigar taste, i hear you ask? why yes, i smoked a fat one last night because i wanted to look important. i failed nonetheless. why was i smoking a cigar last night, you say? well, it was no other than our overhyped school formal! yes, we all went there, thinking it was going to be the best night of our miserable teenage lives, and left quite disappointedly (is that even a word?). the events of the big day happened in such an order: - woke up from a horrible sleep because every tuesday night the new selfish next door neighbours have a party beginning at 12am and finishing at, say, 5am. not only that, but they have the party outside, and get drunk and play music, and they sit about 1 metre away from me not-at-all soundproofed bedroom window. eternal bliss. apparently mum called the coppers, but they didn't/wouldn't care. maybe we should get cousin adam to come round and snap some sense into 'em. either that or tie them up and slap them silly with a large trout. - went round to nicole p's house to get me hair and make up done. hair was alright, i would've preferred a 50s type style but it probably wouldn't have went to well with my dress. make up was etsi-etsi, a job i, although shit at putting on makeup, could have definitely done better myself. - went to station street to get some lip gloss bullshit that the makeup lady told me to get but that i only used once. at least the shade was called 'muse'. did some food shopping. - came home and got dressed. fun times. had some photos with the fam - went to luke's house and all were disorganised. the limo came yet luke's girlfriend was not present, so we left without her after waiting and wasting precious limo time. we ended up picking her up at matt and grego's although she was late there too. had a late hair appt. you see. but yeah, we drank some booze in the limo with someone's obnoxious and rude friend, whilst being atrociously squished. not as fun as i'd imagined. the driver was a c-word too. - arrived at albert by the lake and was made to walk to the bottle shop in high heels. thanks for buying me fucking drinks. pfft. i had to go to the loo to "adjust" and had to walk through a seedy bar full of dirty old men in the process. not good when your boobs are hanging out. rude bastards. - painfully walked back to the formal, took some photos, watched the arrivals, had a mocktail, blah blah blah - seated, waited painstakingly for the food which took an eternity to arrive, meanwhile we had something to drink (bastards would only serve alcohol to the teachers, unlike all the other years formals of course, pfft) and we ate those rolls you get, with butter, although they tasted stale - entree! we waited with anticipation and on our table arrived a measly 5 or 6 pieces of gnocchi in sauce. fucking ridiculous. the gnocchi, as always, tasted like nothing. - had to keep going in and out becasue everyone wanted a smoko, bah. i think yin vomitted around this stage because the duffer had a few flasks or something. vomit adds a nice touch to any formal occasion. - after about 100 years the main meal came, which looked like a measly piece of chicken (with risotto) or steak (with potatoes) (i chose chicken) but they were quite filling. either that or we couldn't eat anymore because out stomach's had slightly expanded and our dresses were too tight - went to the entrance bit and looked at a slideshow of year 7 photographs. there were a few of me but i wasn't embarassed like so many others. it was quite depressing really, seeing how happy and great everything used to be - can't remember the order, but we had desert and also speeches and awards. the typical people won the awards, how surprising. - bummed around for a bit more then left half an hour early because it was so fucking boring and there was nothing left to do. caught a maxi to a hotel room in south yarra where nicole p's mum had dropped off my after-party clothes previously, and also where nicole p and a few friends were meant to stay for the night - got there around 12.30 and the receptionist as a real obnoxious c-word "do you know what time it is? you're going to disrupt everyone, how rude" and we told him that one of the dudes working there said we were allowed to go up just to get changed, and he let us, but like, 1 at a time, which was a real pain - finally finished changing clothes and walked down the road to the after party at fresky bar. this after party was the most hyped up piece of shit since that movie independence day. they were stamping anyone with any form of id, even if it didn't have a date of birth on there. i think they were on to me though. but yeah, it was fucking boring as, i tried to drink myself into oblivion but that didn't work because it the pots were small and the bar closed early - after an uneventful night where most people were ridiculously rude (except for those special people, you know who you are) we went back to the hotel. the time was about 4.50am and the c-word guy CRACKED it. he only let us go in one at a time and we had to wait an hour and a bit for a friggen maxi taxi, which didn't end up coming and so we just ended up getting two normal cabs home. no one ended up staying at the hotel so all that rubbish was almost a waste of time - oh yeah, and the cigar fits into the after party bit. canals aka kenicky got me one yay. - got home about 5.30, by the time i told mum about my night and tok out my hair it was 6. the sun was coming up, the birds were chirpy, and i went to bed. woke up at 10 so i'm extraordinarily tired at the moment. but at least i wont have to see anyone again. there's hope for all. i think. graduation on monday was more promising, a better time was had there AND at the afterparty, i had a great time, plus i co-won the geography dux which made me feel smart. i'm going to cut my hair soon. about fucking time. i think i'm going to watch a movie now. viva latino musica. Current Mood: tired

(Leave a comment)

April 27th, 2004

04:30 pm - destroy the spineless hmm. i just won tickets to see pink. yay? pity i don't like her. and pity it's ona wednesday. i'd prefer to work. mum and andrew will probably go. she'd probably put on a good show though, she's not too bad. either way, i ain't fussed. on the cover for vanilla ice's acting debut movie 'cool as ice', something like: When a girl has a heart of stone there's only one way to melt it. Just add Ice. OH MY GOD HOW CHEESY!!! hahahaa!! i must die. Current Mood: hungry Current Music: badgerbadgerbadger.com

(1 comment | Leave a comment)